It's morning! blink blink blink.... My eyes... they're dry..... they're sour.... they're.... RED! And there goes my day.
This is something I live through. I visited and eye specialist earlier this year, and she said that I've got allergic conjunctivitis, which means that my eyes would become red for no apparent reason. I hate it, because it affects my image, and hence my mood. No, I'm not obsessively cosmetic. I'm not in the business of desperately trying to draw people's attention or approval. However, I do mind possessing a seemingly nocuous (allergic conjunctivitis, unlike bacterial or viral conjunctivities, is not contagious) quality that repels people.
So, on days when my eyes act up, I struggle to meet with people, especially during weekends, when it's time to go out. I talk to people looking down, or elsewhere, because I'm afraid I'll freak them out. Many times, I know that people would say that it's alright and stuff, but deep down, I know that people don't just see a guy with sore eyes and think, "Oh, it's nothing." I love people, and I don't like to scare them.
I've been praying for healing, but I have not received it. I believe in miracles, and I believe in the One behind the miracles. I believe He has His reasons for allowing this sickness, and many other bad things, in my life. And all these things are in my life because this is His way of loving me. Sometimes He's gentle, sometimes He's tough. In good times, I enjoy His goodness; in tough times (like when I've got sore eyes), He enjoys coming through. And when the going gets really tough, He whispers, "Just a few more years and you'll be through, past that (finish) line is life anew!"
Yea, so I'm persevering....
