Saturday, October 21, 2006

Sleepy. Tired. Been a short week, with 2 half-days and a full-day off.
Though, most of my exhaustion had been carried over from last week.
Physically undemanding week, spiritually weary.

Shine.
That's what we Christians have been called to do.
Shine in the midst of darkness.
Usher in the presence of God.
Tell others about Jesus.
Make disciples.

Love.
The greatest commandment.
The foremost and foundational attribute of God himself.
Self-sacrificial, others-centred.
My duty to God and Man.

Expectations.
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Headache.
Light that shines.
Me, a man who ought to be hardworking so as to set an example for others.
One who ought to walk the extra mile as a testimony of generosity.
Well, after all, I've been given much.
So giving more than what others normally would wouldn't be much of a problem. Right?
O yes it matters! I'm tired and de-energized, and I'm expected to voluntarily run the errand which everyone else avoids!?
Give me a break! Even Christians need a break!
And, the thing Christians are often told to do - share the faith.
Tell others about Jesus! They've got to know, or else they'll....
But they've heard the gospel a thousand times!
And what they've gotten from those "clanging cymbals" is a hurt soul and a bad impression.
What do you expect me to say?

Love.
When speech fails and hearts are wounded, loving acts edify.
Both the beloved and the lover.
Dry soul, empty heart. Keep loving.
When I'm weak and weary, my Father watches over and more grace flows in abundance.
I can always try to live up to the calling, and I still can't.
Only grace can.
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My week has been one of searching for substance.
Substance in faith, substance that would help me overcome the struggles I just mentioned.
Pending questions that demand quick and illustrative answers.
Searching for a higher level of reality in my experience with God.
I'm looking for true and lasting satisfaction.
Something that fulfills what I've been made to need.

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