Growth

An experience of a lifetime.

I feel that in this season, I'm gonna grow more.

It was the right thing, and I'm glad I did it.

All that I went through last year led up to this point, and I did not lose the moment.

I read, I thought, I prayed, I waited, and I sought a lot of counsel and covering.

I lost a lot of sleep as well.

And God's grace covered.

The results - it's as best as it can be. Close to zero consequences, really.

Could've been much worse.

Thank You Lord (:

I am so challenged to pursue God's ways for my life that there's nothing else I desire now.

It's a good place to be.

It's been six years of dealing with heart issues, and I'm tired.

I sooo miss my J1 days when I was so carefree...

I'm glad it's over, and He's leading me on to something new.

I'm thinking missions.

DTS, Hong Kong. hehe

Always wanted to go there...

Maybe further studies, maybe work, maybe holiday...

But when KYN returned and she mentioned the HK base, it was like a lightbulb suddenly popping on top of my head!

"oh yeaaa" so I thought. Why didn't I think of that?

So yeah, maybe I'll do DTS next Jan.

Wait till I graduate at the end of this year first.

The whole incident led to a lot of breakthrough.

I feel freer talking to my parents now.

My Dad, he talked to me about his life.

He ACTUALLY talked to me about girls! haha!

I've always wanted a father who would teach me about these things... important life lessons you know.

Wish I had that since young.

But I'm in a fatherless generation. A lot of young people have it worse of.

I should be thankful, and I really am.

Breakthrough (:

In my personal life, I feel so much freer to be myself and live in the destiny He has called me to.

I feel freer to connect with people as well, especially those closer to my age.

I think I'm going crazy, but it's a good thing.

I feel so secure, and I know who I am.

And I believe I left an impact that day.

A life-changing impact, which I will continue to leave in the lives of every single person I meet.

Simply because I am a son of God.

It's not pride. It's faith.

I can't believe I'm so confident. Guess it's a first of many signs that Ivan is really becoming crazier.

And more stable and secure at the same time.

Weird, but it's happening. And I love it!!

God is good, and His intentions are always out to bless me with abundance and joy and freedom.

I just need to accept that it may not turn out the way I imagine it to be.

So now, I don't really care. Come what may.

God still loves me, and His lavishing sees no end.

And I'm only beginning to see it unveil.

It's so awesome. He's so awesome!

I'm so awesome :P muahahaha

`Faith

I am a Prince of the Most High God.

Recently, I've been going through a huge emotional turmoil.

A lot of things are not happening in my favour.

I know I need to learn, and I'm willing to learn.

But still, going through these things have an emotional cost.

Cried in the shower 2 nights ago.

It's been a long time since I cried like that, perhaps since army? Or since I was an intern in YC.

This time, as always, it's different.

Different people, different circumstances, different level of maturity.

God He reigns.

No matter the circumstance, He reigns and rules.

And the amazing thing is, I reign and rule with Him.

I have been called to be above worldly concerns and into His kingdom's matters.

May I be ever captured by His beauty and majesty.

Let not these things of the world corrupt and discourage me, but let me trample on them and reign over all that is my portion.

I will continue to believe that I am loved and empowered to love and build others up, calling their destiny out of them.

I want to have faith like the Centurion.

He says to a servant "go", and he goes, and to another "come", and he comes.

Jesus said He was impressed and pleased with this Roman officer's faith.

Now I know.

I say to worry "go", and it has to leave.

I say to peace "come", and it comes.

Believing that I have this authority is faith pleasing to God.

I am a Prince of the Most High God.

Therefore, I want to have faith that pleases Him.

Happy New Year! (:

Wonder why so many random people tagging me... how to get rid of those posts. hm...

Anyways, it's a new year. (:

2010 has been a tough ride for me, but hitting rock bottom means that things can only improve, right?

So, I'm facing 2011 with new hope and joy!

Really excited about this year, because it's my last year of uni!! It's not going to be easy, but I will trust in Him to carry me through as He did last year. And oh, for the module I failed in the earlier semester, I resat the exam and scored an A! Praise God! (:

I'm also excited because I'm going to play a bigger role in JYC from Feb onwards, as the leadership faces some changes. Really excited to lead, especially the new additions that are coming in, the young and energetic interns. May God grant me the wisdom to work well with Sharon and Matthew in guiding these younger leaders so as to lead the JYCers to soar like eagles!

Relationships wise, I'm praying and expecting an answer soon (:

However, whatever the case is, I will not be shaken by insecurity.

I've realised through 2010 how easily our hearts can lead us through intense worry and insecurity, such that we lose faith in God.

I've learnt my lesson, and my heart shall submit to Jesus Christ.

No matter what happens, whether boy likes girl but girl has feelings for someone else, or other complications that may arise, I will trust in Him.

God, bless this year ahead of me.

May this year be my year.

Amen.