It is kinda sad that Christians today play the dating game (i.e. short-term feeling-based relationship). In the name of experience, "love", and other reasons, people who claim to love God have become lovers of man. What many fail to realise is that God has meant Himself to be the centre of every relationship (romance, friendship etc). Every relationship is an opportunity for the Christian to display God's love.
A typical couple would naturally base their relationship on their fondness of each other. The substance of the bond is the feelings. These feelings are expressed through candle-lit dinners, enchanting star-gazings, sentimental strolls and other romantic things couples do. These backdrops are wonderful. Indeed, they're so wonderful beyond reality. And when reality finally hits, it seems that this typical couple are complete at a loss. They've been doing all the romantic things as if they are the only things couples do. Thing is, candle-lit dinners don't prepare one for quarrels, and star gazing doesn't help one respond to financial difficulties. Romantic experiences are not bad in themselves, but they are a recipe for disaster if relationships revolve around them.
I am in total disagreement of the dating game for Christians. Firstly, God ordained marriage, not dating. Dating isn't supposed to be an end in itself. Rather, it is supposed to facilitate a wholesome marriage. The dating game abuses this sacred purpose. Secondly, in summary of my previous paragraph, the dating game does not benefit anyone in terms of preparing for a future life partner. Thirdly, the dating game is selfish. To gain experience, to feel good, to learn more - these are but persuits for the self. It has no consideration for the other party. Fourthly, it does not honour one's future life partner. Though one may remain a virgin even after all these relationships, emotional exchanges have been made. A part of one's heart and history has been offered to another person who didn't end up to be the one. (There are many more that I can think of, but I'll leave it for now.)
Alternatively, the Bible paints a radically different definition of love, and love cannot be better expressed than in the person of Jesus Christ himself. The Christian must believe this. He's got his own flesh and blood as food in place of a candle-lit dinner; a road to suffering instead of a romantic stroll; a stunning and seemingly offensive message to preach rather than sweet lovey-dovey words to whisper. In the same way, Christians ought to practice love in the form of the example set by Christ. I am totally convinced that we all need to realise this.
I believe that in this day and age, Christians have to be more vigilant and radical than before, for these are evil times. It is not enough to simply save sex for marriage and be equally yoked. We have to be radically committed to being pure not just physically, but also emotionally, mentally and spiritually. This world desperately needs some demonstration of real love, because salvation is at hand. We might still make it to heaven while we continue in our mediocre ways, but the salvation of others is at stake. Bible says that it is by our love that others will see that we are truely Christ's diciples. Through loving one another, others will be able to have a glimpse of God, and hopefully they will turn and believe.
While pain and suffering seem to be the last thing to be associated with the world's definition of love, they are the essence of God's kind of love. God's love begets sacrifice - there is a price to pay in order to express such love. In the context of a romantic relationship, truely loving someone means being responsible for one's part of the relationship; honouring one's partner; being committed emotionally, financially, and in all other practical ways; being ready to give up one's own way of life for the betterment of the relationship etc. At the very core, God's love is about being selfless. It is about desiring the highest good of the other party, and then being willing to pay the price for that good to happen.
Briefly, with more specific roles, men should imitate the boldness and humility of Christ. He was ready to defend his church with his life, and also humble enough to lay it down on his own accord. Similarly, men should be aggressive in defending the women and standing up for them, while also being ready to turn the other cheek when it comes to defending their own rights. Women, on the other hand, should desire to be the sustainer that God created Eve to be - one who encourages, supports, and has the capacity for her man's sorrows.
This should be the type of courtship Christian couples engage in. Imitating God's love in a relationship, making God the centre of it all - such is His art of courtship.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." - Jn 15:13
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