I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness
I know that You have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are
//
This guy came up to me at the carpark and, after some small talk, finally took the courage to say something like this, "I'm a Christian, and I felt that God wanted me to tell you that He loves you."
Just as a girl needs roses or something more than just a "I love you", so was I desperate for something, some sign from heaven, not just head knowledge or theology.
Seems like I finally got my bouquet.
But I want more, perhaps, a kiss from heaven.
//
God loves me, and I believe that.
But I want it to feel real, not just words. I want to experience it fully, not just when a good song pops by or a good sermon comes along. I want His love everywhere, all the time.
Show me something real, Lord.
//
You have granted him his heart’s desire
and have not withheld the request of his lips.
- Ps 21:2
I got this verse, couple of days back.
My desires are ridiculous, my prayers are almost "illegal", or so it feels.
If God would really grant them it'll be WOW.
But I dare not hope for it as well, and sometimes I doubt, because, I mean, will God really answer ridiculous prayers? Will He change the heavens and the earth just for me? Like, who am I right?
So, I don't know. It's difficult to have faith in God giving us what we want, because we're so used to being told that wants are not needs, and wants are bad for you.
I wonder if God thinks so. So, you see my dilemma, and I hope you'll forgive me for having doubts. I know I'm supposed to be a matured Christian, and I'm even a leader, even overseeing a whole ministry sort of thing, and here am I having so little faith.
Faith enough only to just ask.
"Ask and you shall receive". Lord, did you really mean this when you said it? Does it really apply to my crazy prayers?
Whatever the case, I guess the first step is to simply rest in the truth, in what is obviously true. That is, He is for me, not against me.
So, as I pray and doubt, I'll stick to the truth: You are for me.
Whether You answer my prayers, or show me how dumb my prayers are, or in between, like teaching me to pray differently, I'll leave it to You. For now, I'll just try my best to believe that You are for me.
I know, that You are for me. Surely You will not abandon me in my weakness of faith.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Emotions, Movies, and Elections
The past half a year or so, since the start of this year, I have been rather melancholic. I've been needing a dose of optimism somehow, somewhere, from someone, sometimes. I used to journal a lot, but it kinda stopped cos each time I journal I'm actually arousing all those emotions. So I just started on a personal journey, watching hollywood chick flicks and teen movies, just to entertain and get a dose of optimism and happy endings (I can't stand sad endings, or, even worse, horror). Actually, American does provide a good dose of optimism, like, there are so many possibilities out there, you just have to go for it and fulfill your dreams. One movie that I like in particular is Hilary Duff's Raise Your Voice. Others like Princess Diaries, Princess Protection Program, Camp Rock etc are quite interesting too. I know these are girly movies, but I guess when I'm feeling emotionally down I don't really have the mood for macho 300 or LOTR right? There are times for these different types of movies lor...
Hilary Duff
Anyways, leading up to now, I'm feeling pretty much better, energised by the all-powerful American optimism, or American Dream. I believe hollywood isn't all that bad you know. I reflect on how like many moralist slam American culture as going down the drain, but when I watch these movies, I realise that a lot of them have quite good values. You know that in real life, some of these actors actually wear the purity ring? Perhaps this generation of American entertainers are different from the morally degrading Gen X and early Gen Y (those older than me, late 20s and early 30s).
Yup, that's about my journey to Hollywood. Just in case you're wondering my commitment to God hasn't faded. I still read my Bible every day, and He's still the foundation of my life. But on top of that, a dose of Hollywood is good for you! (You still have to be discerning when choosing movies la!)
And then, recently, there's the elections! After all those movies, which sort of climaxed with the all-time-favourite-fairy-tale Royal Wedding, it's finally election time in Singapore.
So I stopped eating my Hollywood supper and switched to Youtube's rally videos.
Actually, although happy endings are cool to watch, they seldom inspire your whole life. But elections are a totally different thing man...
To make this long story short I just wanna say that I'm very impressed and inspired by Worker's Party leader Low Thia Khiang. You know how opposition are usually discriminated by the PAP and the PAP usually make things difficult for them to do their stuff? This guy is one serious fighter who never gives up.
That's him. Imagine 20 years being a minority in Parliament, always having your suggestions brushed away by the not-so-al-mighty father, son, and holey Goh. (Father = MM Lee, Son = PM Lee) But he still presses on!
yah people always criticise him as rugged and uncle, but that's the meaning of reaching out to the people right? You know most of Singaporeans are actually heartlanders like this guy? If you think he has poor English and talks too low-class, you're probably a snob. And you're a minority Singaporean. He's actually Chinese-ed, went to the now defunct 南大 (Nanyang University). So his Chinese is more fluent. It's sad that the PAP has been trying all these years to marginalise people like that. I actually talked to this taxi uncle who was Chinese ed, and his mindset is that Chinese-ed people have no future in Singapore, except to be Chinese teacher, which students all hate. So yea, I appreciate the PAP overall, but this is one aspect of PAP that I'm against.
The people should be heard in Parliament, and this guy reflects who the true-blue Singaporeans actually are! In values, language, and attitude. And the speeches he give are powerful! I went to his rally thursday night, and the cheers... gosh it's exhilarating!
yeah you can hear the shouts! People from the heartlands really love this guy! who says you have to speak good English to lead the people?!
I was there when he gave this speech, and there were 30000 people. His rallies are actually the most popular and packed.
He's crazy. He's rugged. He inspires his voters. He inspired me. To be minority in Parliament, educated differently, speaking differently, but winning the hearts of a growing number of people each election, this guy is my hero. I appreciate the PAP, especially what the first generation of leaders have done for our country, and I like our current PM too. But I feel that there has to be a place for guys like him to speak up for those whom he represents in Parliament too.
So yeah. It's been a crazy journey the past half a year, from melancholy to optimism to inspiration. I thank God for this roller-coaster ride. I didn't really expect things to be this way, but I trust He has great plans for me.
Lord, surprise my heart this season I pray. And bless my country, however the elections turn out. Whatever the outcome, whoever enters our Parliament, whoever become our ministers, You are the true King.
So in the end, I only wanna sing: hosanna in the highest!
Hilary DuffShe's soo pretty right??
Anyways, leading up to now, I'm feeling pretty much better, energised by the all-powerful American optimism, or American Dream. I believe hollywood isn't all that bad you know. I reflect on how like many moralist slam American culture as going down the drain, but when I watch these movies, I realise that a lot of them have quite good values. You know that in real life, some of these actors actually wear the purity ring? Perhaps this generation of American entertainers are different from the morally degrading Gen X and early Gen Y (those older than me, late 20s and early 30s).
Yup, that's about my journey to Hollywood. Just in case you're wondering my commitment to God hasn't faded. I still read my Bible every day, and He's still the foundation of my life. But on top of that, a dose of Hollywood is good for you! (You still have to be discerning when choosing movies la!)
And then, recently, there's the elections! After all those movies, which sort of climaxed with the all-time-favourite-fairy-tale Royal Wedding, it's finally election time in Singapore.
So I stopped eating my Hollywood supper and switched to Youtube's rally videos.
Actually, although happy endings are cool to watch, they seldom inspire your whole life. But elections are a totally different thing man...
To make this long story short I just wanna say that I'm very impressed and inspired by Worker's Party leader Low Thia Khiang. You know how opposition are usually discriminated by the PAP and the PAP usually make things difficult for them to do their stuff? This guy is one serious fighter who never gives up.
That's him. Imagine 20 years being a minority in Parliament, always having your suggestions brushed away by the not-so-al-mighty father, son, and holey Goh. (Father = MM Lee, Son = PM Lee) But he still presses on!
yah people always criticise him as rugged and uncle, but that's the meaning of reaching out to the people right? You know most of Singaporeans are actually heartlanders like this guy? If you think he has poor English and talks too low-class, you're probably a snob. And you're a minority Singaporean. He's actually Chinese-ed, went to the now defunct 南大 (Nanyang University). So his Chinese is more fluent. It's sad that the PAP has been trying all these years to marginalise people like that. I actually talked to this taxi uncle who was Chinese ed, and his mindset is that Chinese-ed people have no future in Singapore, except to be Chinese teacher, which students all hate. So yea, I appreciate the PAP overall, but this is one aspect of PAP that I'm against.
The people should be heard in Parliament, and this guy reflects who the true-blue Singaporeans actually are! In values, language, and attitude. And the speeches he give are powerful! I went to his rally thursday night, and the cheers... gosh it's exhilarating!
yeah you can hear the shouts! People from the heartlands really love this guy! who says you have to speak good English to lead the people?!
I was there when he gave this speech, and there were 30000 people. His rallies are actually the most popular and packed.
He's crazy. He's rugged. He inspires his voters. He inspired me. To be minority in Parliament, educated differently, speaking differently, but winning the hearts of a growing number of people each election, this guy is my hero. I appreciate the PAP, especially what the first generation of leaders have done for our country, and I like our current PM too. But I feel that there has to be a place for guys like him to speak up for those whom he represents in Parliament too.
So yeah. It's been a crazy journey the past half a year, from melancholy to optimism to inspiration. I thank God for this roller-coaster ride. I didn't really expect things to be this way, but I trust He has great plans for me.
Lord, surprise my heart this season I pray. And bless my country, however the elections turn out. Whatever the outcome, whoever enters our Parliament, whoever become our ministers, You are the true King.
So in the end, I only wanna sing: hosanna in the highest!
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Royalty
It's a real-life fairy tale
Kiss of the century <3
Totally lost in their love despite the presence of a multitude... sweet!
I like it how Kate bows slightly when Prince William salutes
She's totally gorgeous
I was totally inspired by the royal wedding yesterday.
The idea of royalty seems to ever grip me so tightly...
It's like, you're entitled to such titles, majesty, glory, authority, adoration just because of who you are.
No one could take that away from you.
That's royalty.
I wish such royalty were real in my life.
I know we're God's royal children, and our royalty is real.
I need more faith to realise this reality in my life... that I am a Prince...
And hopefully one day, I'll have my own royal wedding (:
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