You are for me

I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never
Forsake me in my weakness

I know that You have come now
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

//

This guy came up to me at the carpark and, after some small talk, finally took the courage to say something like this, "I'm a Christian, and I felt that God wanted me to tell you that He loves you."

Just as a girl needs roses or something more than just a "I love you", so was I desperate for something, some sign from heaven, not just head knowledge or theology.
Seems like I finally got my bouquet.
But I want more, perhaps, a kiss from heaven.

//

God loves me, and I believe that.
But I want it to feel real, not just words. I want to experience it fully, not just when a good song pops by or a good sermon comes along. I want His love everywhere, all the time.

Show me something real, Lord.

//

You have granted him his heart’s desire
and have not withheld the request of his lips.
- Ps 21:2

I got this verse, couple of days back.
My desires are ridiculous, my prayers are almost "illegal", or so it feels.
If God would really grant them it'll be WOW.
But I dare not hope for it as well, and sometimes I doubt, because, I mean, will God really answer ridiculous prayers? Will He change the heavens and the earth just for me? Like, who am I right?

So, I don't know. It's difficult to have faith in God giving us what we want, because we're so used to being told that wants are not needs, and wants are bad for you.
I wonder if God thinks so. So, you see my dilemma, and I hope you'll forgive me for having doubts. I know I'm supposed to be a matured Christian, and I'm even a leader, even overseeing a whole ministry sort of thing, and here am I having so little faith.
Faith enough only to just ask.
"Ask and you shall receive". Lord, did you really mean this when you said it? Does it really apply to my crazy prayers?

Whatever the case, I guess the first step is to simply rest in the truth, in what is obviously true. That is, He is for me, not against me.

So, as I pray and doubt, I'll stick to the truth: You are for me.
Whether You answer my prayers, or show me how dumb my prayers are, or in between, like teaching me to pray differently, I'll leave it to You. For now, I'll just try my best to believe that You are for me.

I know, that You are for me. Surely You will not abandon me in my weakness of faith.