being involved in someone's proposal (Ian's) recently has kinda made me think more about my own marriage. I've always wanted to marry young, although, I really leave it to God's timing. if He says wait till i'm 30 plus, then so be it, although I personally hope He wouldn't say that lah...

yeaaahhh... but before I get married, i go to find a girlfriend first right? and to find a girlfriend, i've got to be really good friends with *her* first ya? whoever she may be (although my sixth sense tells me a lot of people in church are already speculating...) but yeah, i'm still looking ;)

sigh.... i don't hate being single tho. in fact, i'm loving it (: but its just that at my age, i kinda have to start thinking about relationships in realistic terms, unlike school days when it's just about having crushes and whether you get to talk to her, ask her out, or who you get to hold hands with (if any). the practicality of things like saving for a HDB flat or getting a stable job etc kicks in really hard these days... something i didn't really understand as a school kid, until NS and beyond...

so yeah, my personal hope is to get married around upper-mid 20s, and have a child by 30. I don't know if that's just me, or did God place such silly numbers in my head. either ways, its really bothering me nowadays, cause i'm already 23. but say if i'm supposedly going to marry when i'm like 30 plus, then what's the point of thinking about these things now, right? that's what's confusing me. but since the nature of things is such that i'm single, and i can't exactly go up to someone and ask her out officially... at least not now, like now now. (i really don't know about this. there may well be... someone. i don't know. depends. i'm confused heh) so i guess i should just remain thankful and live my singlehood life to the fullest until something happens...

i don't know. seems like i'm a bit irresponsible right? the guy should be the one proactively seeking. well, i am. just that there's no clear "go" at this moment i suppose. so yeah. argh! ...

God please help me. I need more than just some pretty photos. give me a clear focus in my life right now, cause i don't have a clue about the stuff that's rushing inside of meee!

another part of me tells me it's coming soon (: ohh wells, we'll see.
most importantly, this song shall be my guide:

All the way my Saviour leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

Yes. Jesus doeth all things well. even if I'm gonna remain single forever.
I will abide.