emo

i used to think valentine's day was lonely. but my birthday's worse.

i feel like i'm growing old alone. don't really have anyone to share my sentimental thoughts and experiences with. its a good place to be though. not that i enjoy pitying myself - i don't - but i guess loneliness has a certain kind of good in it, though its hard to point out exactly what. for one, it brings me closer to God. adam was lonely in the garden, and things were supposed to be perfect. so loneliness isn't "evil" in that sense.

was emo-ing at NP/SIM today, cos tomorrow's my birthday, yet i dont really know who's gonna be excited for me. i don't expect anyone to be really, and i don't blame anyone. almost teared at makan place. this song kept ringing in my head:

When I look into Your holiness
When I gaze into Your loveliness
When all things that surround me become shadows in the light of You

I worship You
I worship You
The reason I live is to worship You


worshipping alone. no one else understands. no one else interferes. its a good place to be.