gonna send aaron off tmr.
so fast.
it was my turn 4 yrs and 5 months ago (i was dec batch)
and now, i'm seeing someone who was sec 2 at that time i went in. heh
maybe 4 yrs later he'll say the same about... wei en? or arms... that batch of guys

which brings me back to army days.
up till now, it's still unclear why certain things had to happen...
in the making of a better man.
it's not an all smooth journey.
the tears, emotions, and all the ARGH moments.
wishing i had a girlfriend (stupid but real, cos we're all desperate)
wishing someone was there (LOLs that's soooo yesterday)
wishing someone texted me during the day
cause it totally - pardon me - sucks when no one remembers.
even for a day.
cause its just so dreadful.
and lonely. which is the worst part.
its not imagined. its real. physically detached from everything i loved.
Wish I had a better resolve.
but in my human nature when the atmosphere is the least "conducive" for worshiping God
I went along my human ways
doing what broken and lonely people do.

literally, no one can be there for you when you need someone.
really. no one can. really...
that is, until... you realise that God is there.
He was there. He has been there.
And it was He who didn't give up on me, even when I ran away.

I remember it was Pastor Sam's sermon.
In my confusion, guilt, desperation, loneliness...
He preached a message that gave me the strength to stand
And believe that I'm okay and good, because God has given me grace
And I remember the verse till this day:

For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again... (NKJV)
The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. (NLT)
for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again... (NIV)
- Proverbs 24:16

That's right. Even the righteous and godly fall. Many times. But what sets them apart is that they rise each time.

Thank you Pastor Sam. Thank You Jesus.

The temptations may come, and you may find yourself weak in certain areas. But it's part and parcel of learning and growing to finally becoming a man after God's own heart.

So, Aaron, brave the storm. God bless you. I believe in you.