I've been semi-successful at keeping my thoughts away from the subject, at least wayyy more than just about a month ago. Been feeling more fruitful these days, becoming more and more convinced that everything is in God's hands. I might as well stay single for the next 10 years doing what He wants me to do, while I'm already learning to love it.

(By the way, it takes a lot to say 10 more years. It's something I'd say, perhaps, 8 years ago, but in my 20s, inclination is to say, the most, a few years. But seems like God is moving through my desires and reshaping them, such that I somehow really believe and like that wisdom that patience always offers the best.)

Haven't thought as much, haven't talked or even met in a while...

Today, I encountered. Natural instincts arose, but I've got better control this time. I'm captivated only by One Thing. And that's Jesus. I pray it'll stay this way forever.

You have stolen my heart
I'm captivated by You
Never will You and I be apart
I've fallen deeply in love with You

And... I surrender to You. No longer I, but Christ who lives in me, and in all those who love and fear Him. Your ways are higher than mine, and You can bear weight that is far too heavy for me. But I pray for a breakthrough soon. And heal my disappointment, Lord. It is great, but You are greater. Your love never fails, and Your hope will save the day. I believe it (: You are a jealous God.